Saturday, December 1, 2007

Getting fatter by the generation.



Why is it that there are so many fat people walking around today? Ok well maybe waddling would be a better term to use, not the point. Look at kids these days. They are inundated with ads for McDonalds daily, and even more ads for junk food are shown on their "special" stations where only cartoons are shown all day long. Now this is an answer to prayer for the busy parent who wants nothing to do with the raising of their children, or the stoner whose idea of high brow humor is a fart joke. Now don't get me wrong, farts are funny, butt, not the end all be all when it comes to making me laugh. But I digress. Children these days are getting fatter by the minute. Why is this? Blaming it on fast food, video games, and t.v. would be the cop out answer. No, I think the answer is a little more complicated than that. My answer lies with the parents and these over zealous "public servants" that don't want anybody's feelings to get hurt. They should be called public "disservants", or just douche-bag. You know who I'm talking about, the people who want to ban dodge-ball or tag from public schools because if you get tagged to much it might hurt your feelings. Horse s*@t!!! If you get tagged a lot it means your the slowest one. Run Fatty RUN! Lose some weight and lower your forty time so you can get away form the tagger. These are also the same people that don't want to keep score in little league anymore because if you lose it might lower your self esteem, cause you to fall into a deep depression, overdose on twinkies and die. Personally, if you have the propensity to fall into a deep depression from losing a baseball game, then you are weak and deserve whatever happens to you. Survival of the fittest baby! The weak die, and the strong survive to hump another day, just hopefully not when your young enough to play little league. Back to the question at hand. Food that we eat is also not totally to blame. Granted, most fast food is horrible for you. But, look at what you grandparents ate growing up. Everything was cooked in lard, I mean everything. Want eggs? Where's the lard?! Want sausage with those eggs? A little more lard please. Want toast with all of that. Add a little lard for flavor. Now they seem to be ok. Maybe its video games? Maybe, but I doubt it. I now lots of people who play video games and are not fat. I think the big problem is the parents. Make those butterballs get outside and play, you could probably use the exercise too fatty. When I was growing up, during the summer I wasn't allowed in the house before the street lights came on. Even for a glass of water. Me and my brother would be pounding on the door needing refreshment for our hours of running around like whirling dervishes. My dad would yell out to us, not open the door and tell us face to face mind you, that there was a hose with an endless supply of water. These days parents would have CPS all over their ass for that. And for what reason? Because their kid is hallucinating from dehydration and sun stroke? Pussy's. By allowing your children to participate in communist activities such as scoreless baseball and the likes, you are setting them up for a rude awakening when they enter the real world and find out that the accolades they received from you for their piss poor performance all their life was unfounded and they really suck as bad as a Leif Garret. For this you parents should be held liable and have to pay for the years of therapy it will take them to live a somewhat normal life. Thanks a lot! You just added another worthless worm to the breeding pool. The only thing we can pray for is that he gets hit by a bus full of all star athletes and doesn't have a chance to breed. All this talk of wusses that you pitiful parents have raised is really lowering my production of testosterone. I need to go throw some weights around. I leave you with a quote that represents how I feel about training. 

"The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you're a god or a total bastard. The Iron will always kick you in the real deal. The Iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver, always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds."

— Henry Rollins

Monday, November 26, 2007

Get to know me

I thought for my first post I would just explain a little about my self and what I am doing here. Lets see... I like long walks on the beach,... Okay, maybe not, but I do like the beach. First off, I am a twenty five year old new father that works his ass off for little recognition or compensation comparative to the area I live in. I make good money, but where I live in Southern California, or as I like to call it Northern Mexico, if you are not making at least 100,000 a year, and your wife works to supplement the income some, you are not living the California dream. Now I know what you are thinking, "Oh great. Another guy that created a blog just so he can complain about how crappy his life is so we can feel bad for him and get all emotional over that fact that the people who make a ton of money are bad people and should spread the wealth." Well, I'm not a socialist so that is not why I'm here. The reason I am here is because I like putting my thoughts out in the open for all to read. Because sometimes I actually have something brilliant to say, although rare, it has been known to occur. Kind of like the Chupacabra attacks. The locals are always talking about them, but it can never be confirmed. I am also doing this because I am looking into a career of writing and need some examples for potential employers. What better way to go than a blog. I can write about whatever I want and nobody cares. Unless I belittle blacks, then Jesse Jackson will be all over my ass claiming I am racially intolerant. Do you think he will bother to check to see if I am in fact black. Now that is what I call racist. But if I say the same thing about Polocks, he will think its funny. Catch 22 huh? But enough of that for now. I'm sure that I will have more to say about Jesse and Al's racism at a later date. 
More about me. As I said, I have just become a father for the first time. What an experience that is. If you have ever seen the miracle of birth on any of those discovery channel shows, or saw anything in anatomy class in high-school, and think you know it all... You don't. Here I am, probably one of the best kept guys under a high pressure situation, and none the less in that delivery room I forgot what number came after 5 while I was counting for her contractions. Let me tell ya. You want to feel stupid? Screw up a ten count right around 5 in a room with nurses and doctors, and there you have it. Stupid stamp please. Okay, now add a little ink, and SLAM into forehead for maximum effect. I felt like the dumbest person. Even my wife, who was in the middle of one of the most painful events of her life took pause to quip and chuckle about my blunder. But when the doctor finally gets that little angel out of that slimy, bloody, war torn hole you used to call fun town. The only thing I could think about was... DAmmmnnnn!!! I don't know what you women are taught, but what you go through just to have a real live dolly. Hats off to you. Its amazing, almost like as soon as the doctor flops that baby onto your chest, you totally forget the fact that ten seconds ago that very same baby made you a two car garage from a motorcycle cover. The mind is a powerful machine. 
I will end every post with a saying that I find relevant to the subject,or one that I just really like.

"I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult".

—E. B. White