A rational Look at "Global Warming".

                     I was sitting at my parent’s house Christmas afternoon freezing my ass off in 9 below weather watching it snow outside, as it has for the last few days I have been here, and it brought a thought to mind. Obviously these people who spew rhetoric about global warming live somewhere where it does not readily snow, or drop below freezing. Because, if they did they would not have global warming on their minds when they walk outside and their snot freezes inside their bulbous, whiskey reddened nose…. Ted K. This experience of snot freezing gave me the idea to write about something I feel exceptionally passionate about. The rational argument that is… Dun Dun Dun! GLOBAL WARMING!!! So I thought I would write about global warming from rational point of view. No politics, or activist rhetoric. No talking points spewed from the asses of big oil, and yada yada yada. Global warming as thought of from a totally rational point of view.

Fir                 First of lets define exactly what we are talking about. I am talking strictly about man made global warming, and the effects it is having on our eco system, and our economy. Lets take the first big talking point most people use to prove that man made global warming is real. “The summer seems to be getting hotter and hotter.” “This is the hottest month, week, day, hour, or minute on record.” Lets take the first quote and break it down. The summers seem hotter than usual. Think about it, when you were younger you were busy playing and running around like whirling dervishes. You had no time to stop and think about how hot it was outside. As you get older, you start to notice that the summers seem to get hotter; when in actuality you are becoming more sensitive to the weather changes between spring, summer, and winter. Now you are probably saying to yourself that this idea is the stupidest thing you’ve heard of. But before you shut off you brain just think about it. You are old and sensitive. Get over it. Next are the temperature records. We are always hearing how this month is the hottest month on record. You know why they always say on record and not a certain timetable? Because accurate records did not exist over a hundred years ago, and who is to say that their method of temperature taking did not include a cow, a stick, and a piece of string. How can we expect to believe that this year was the hottest year on record when, more than likely, those temperatures do not go back more than a hundred years. As far as I know the Earth is older than a hundred years. So who is to say that 500 years ago, the month of October was the hottest month on record? Now that would reflect a major warming trend. Also, how many of you remember the Time magazine covers that warned of the impending doom that was a global ice age in the 1970’s? Now I am not nearly old enough to remember this, hell, my dad was still in high school. But he cannot forget the fact that this idea of a new ice age coming that was supposed to kill millions, and cause a collapse of the economy, as we knew it, was readily taught in, or should I say, as social studies. This is the purest example of fundamentalist environmentalists. Go from one global crisis to another just to keep the spotlight on your little tree-hugging group so you feel more important than my morning constitutional.

An               And as for all this emissions crap everybody is spewing about how we need to drive environmentally friendly vehicles, and change all our bulbs in our houses over to CFL’s. I say bullshit. Why should we buy crappy looking hybrids that cost way too much for the amount of savings that vehicle will supposedly yield. Hey, when the pompous bureaucrats of this country turn in their massive SUV’s for a cute little Prius, and then make all state officials and emergency personnel drive Hybrids, then I might think about it. Why will this never happen? It’s not practical. Can you imagine a police chase involving hybrids? Please!!  Cops will never drive hybrids, period end of story. As for me, I will stick with my big ass fuel guzzling diesel truck.

Also,        why is everybody so up in arms about the “rising” CO2 levels? Have you ever noticed CO2 is the only gas anybody ever mentions when talking about “Global Warming”? Why is this important again? If I remember correctly, and I might not so bear with me, don’t trees, flowers, and all the freaking plants on this planet live off CO2? Without it they would die! Maybe these activists were just bad at chemistry and mean to say CO, which is Carbon Monoxide, the main by product of any fossil fuel burning vehicle. But just in case they do mean CO2, the only reason I can think of to explain the rising CO2 level is the Sierra Club, and other anti-American groups that refuse to let logging companies to do their job and cut down trees. This is a very complicated subject, but basically when a tree hits a certain age the process of taking in CO2 and expelling O2 reverses. This is a natural process of decay.

     Now lets take the biggest argument that “global warming” activists spew. “The polar ice caps are melting, and polar bears are drowning.” (Said in an effeminate voice.) Now, I am sure you have all see the picture of the “drowning” Polar Bears. If not here it is. It was a big lie. They were not drowning, but playing. Anyway, these yahoos are saying the polar ice caps are melting, and that the ocean is going to rise by twenty feet by 2025. Oh come on Al, you have got to be kidding me. Did you actually do any research before making that best used as a Frisbee flick? Because if you did you would have found out that yes, the North Pole has diminished in size by about a third. But, the South Pole has almost doubled in size. Now how can this be if the planet is warming significantly? It couldn’t. So a significant change in the global climate caused by man is impossible.  Before taking someone’s word for pure gospel, do a little research.

" In a world of the blind, the one eyed man will be KING." -- Bonaduce

 

Getting fatter by the generation.

Why is it that there are so many fat people walking around today? Ok well maybe waddling would be a better term to use, not the point. Look at kids these days. They are inundated with ads for McDonalds daily, and even more ads for junk food are shown on their "special" stations where only cartoons are shown all day long. Now this is an answer to prayer for the busy parent who wants nothing to do with the raising of their children, or the stoner whose idea of high brow humor is a fart joke. Now don't get me wrong, farts are funny, butt, not the end all be all when it comes to making me laugh. But I digress. Children these days are getting fatter by the minute. Why is this? Blaming it on fast food, video games, and t.v. would be the cop out answer. No, I think the answer is a little more complicated than that. My answer lies with the parents and these over zealous "public servants" that don't want anybody's feelings to get hurt. They should be called public "disservants", or just douche-bag. You know who I'm talking about, the people who want to ban dodge-ball or tag from public schools because if you get tagged to much it might hurt your feelings. Horse s*@t!!! If you get tagged a lot it means your the slowest one. Run Fatty RUN! Lose some weight and lower your forty time so you can get away form the tagger. These are also the same people that don't want to keep score in little league anymore because if you lose it might lower your self esteem, cause you to fall into a deep depression, overdose on twinkies and die. Personally, if you have the propensity to fall into a deep depression from losing a baseball game, then you are weak and deserve whatever happens to you. Survival of the fittest baby! The weak die, and the strong survive to hump another day, just hopefully not when your young enough to play little league. Back to the question at hand. Food that we eat is also not totally to blame. Granted, most fast food is horrible for you. But, look at what you grandparents ate growing up. Everything was cooked in lard, I mean everything. Want eggs? Where's the lard?! Want sausage with those eggs? A little more lard please. Want toast with all of that. Add a little lard for flavor. Now they seem to be ok. Maybe its video games? Maybe, but I doubt it. I now lots of people who play video games and are not fat. I think the big problem is the parents. Make those butterballs get outside and play, you could probably use the exercise too fatty. When I was growing up, during the summer I wasn't allowed in the house before the street lights came on. Even for a glass of water. Me and my brother would be pounding on the door needing refreshment for our hours of running around like whirling dervishes. My dad would yell out to us, not open the door and tell us face to face mind you, that there was a hose with an endless supply of water. These days parents would have CPS all over their ass for that. And for what reason? Because their kid is hallucinating from dehydration and sun stroke? Pussy's. By allowing your children to participate in communist activities such as scoreless baseball and the likes, you are setting them up for a rude awakening when they enter the real world and find out that the accolades they received from you for their piss poor performance all their life was unfounded and they really suck as bad as a Leif Garret. For this you parents should be held liable and have to pay for the years of therapy it will take them to live a somewhat normal life. Thanks a lot! You just added another worthless worm to the breeding pool. The only thing we can pray for is that he gets hit by a bus full of all star athletes and doesn't have a chance to breed. All this talk of wusses that you pitiful parents have raised is really lowering my production of testosterone. I need to go throw some weights around. I leave you with a quote that represents how I feel about training. 

"The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you're a god or a total bastard. The Iron will always kick you in the real deal. The Iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver, always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds."

— Henry Rollins