A rational Look at "Global Warming".

                     I was sitting at my parent’s house Christmas afternoon freezing my ass off in 9 below weather watching it snow outside, as it has for the last few days I have been here, and it brought a thought to mind. Obviously these people who spew rhetoric about global warming live somewhere where it does not readily snow, or drop below freezing. Because, if they did they would not have global warming on their minds when they walk outside and their snot freezes inside their bulbous, whiskey reddened nose…. Ted K. This experience of snot freezing gave me the idea to write about something I feel exceptionally passionate about. The rational argument that is… Dun Dun Dun! GLOBAL WARMING!!! So I thought I would write about global warming from rational point of view. No politics, or activist rhetoric. No talking points spewed from the asses of big oil, and yada yada yada. Global warming as thought of from a totally rational point of view.

Fir                 First of lets define exactly what we are talking about. I am talking strictly about man made global warming, and the effects it is having on our eco system, and our economy. Lets take the first big talking point most people use to prove that man made global warming is real. “The summer seems to be getting hotter and hotter.” “This is the hottest month, week, day, hour, or minute on record.” Lets take the first quote and break it down. The summers seem hotter than usual. Think about it, when you were younger you were busy playing and running around like whirling dervishes. You had no time to stop and think about how hot it was outside. As you get older, you start to notice that the summers seem to get hotter; when in actuality you are becoming more sensitive to the weather changes between spring, summer, and winter. Now you are probably saying to yourself that this idea is the stupidest thing you’ve heard of. But before you shut off you brain just think about it. You are old and sensitive. Get over it. Next are the temperature records. We are always hearing how this month is the hottest month on record. You know why they always say on record and not a certain timetable? Because accurate records did not exist over a hundred years ago, and who is to say that their method of temperature taking did not include a cow, a stick, and a piece of string. How can we expect to believe that this year was the hottest year on record when, more than likely, those temperatures do not go back more than a hundred years. As far as I know the Earth is older than a hundred years. So who is to say that 500 years ago, the month of October was the hottest month on record? Now that would reflect a major warming trend. Also, how many of you remember the Time magazine covers that warned of the impending doom that was a global ice age in the 1970’s? Now I am not nearly old enough to remember this, hell, my dad was still in high school. But he cannot forget the fact that this idea of a new ice age coming that was supposed to kill millions, and cause a collapse of the economy, as we knew it, was readily taught in, or should I say, as social studies. This is the purest example of fundamentalist environmentalists. Go from one global crisis to another just to keep the spotlight on your little tree-hugging group so you feel more important than my morning constitutional.

An               And as for all this emissions crap everybody is spewing about how we need to drive environmentally friendly vehicles, and change all our bulbs in our houses over to CFL’s. I say bullshit. Why should we buy crappy looking hybrids that cost way too much for the amount of savings that vehicle will supposedly yield. Hey, when the pompous bureaucrats of this country turn in their massive SUV’s for a cute little Prius, and then make all state officials and emergency personnel drive Hybrids, then I might think about it. Why will this never happen? It’s not practical. Can you imagine a police chase involving hybrids? Please!!  Cops will never drive hybrids, period end of story. As for me, I will stick with my big ass fuel guzzling diesel truck.

Also,        why is everybody so up in arms about the “rising” CO2 levels? Have you ever noticed CO2 is the only gas anybody ever mentions when talking about “Global Warming”? Why is this important again? If I remember correctly, and I might not so bear with me, don’t trees, flowers, and all the freaking plants on this planet live off CO2? Without it they would die! Maybe these activists were just bad at chemistry and mean to say CO, which is Carbon Monoxide, the main by product of any fossil fuel burning vehicle. But just in case they do mean CO2, the only reason I can think of to explain the rising CO2 level is the Sierra Club, and other anti-American groups that refuse to let logging companies to do their job and cut down trees. This is a very complicated subject, but basically when a tree hits a certain age the process of taking in CO2 and expelling O2 reverses. This is a natural process of decay.

     Now lets take the biggest argument that “global warming” activists spew. “The polar ice caps are melting, and polar bears are drowning.” (Said in an effeminate voice.) Now, I am sure you have all see the picture of the “drowning” Polar Bears. If not here it is. It was a big lie. They were not drowning, but playing. Anyway, these yahoos are saying the polar ice caps are melting, and that the ocean is going to rise by twenty feet by 2025. Oh come on Al, you have got to be kidding me. Did you actually do any research before making that best used as a Frisbee flick? Because if you did you would have found out that yes, the North Pole has diminished in size by about a third. But, the South Pole has almost doubled in size. Now how can this be if the planet is warming significantly? It couldn’t. So a significant change in the global climate caused by man is impossible.  Before taking someone’s word for pure gospel, do a little research.

" In a world of the blind, the one eyed man will be KING." -- Bonaduce